“I LEARNED HIS DEEPEST SECRET BEFORE OUR WEDDING"

“I LEARNED HIS DEEPEST SECRET BEFORE OUR WEDDING"

Dear Move On 101,

Six months pa lang kami ni Yohan nang magpropose sya sa aking magpakasal. Di ako tumanggi. Kahit na napakaikli ng panahon ko syang nakilala, he just feels so right. Oo may mga bagay akong di gusto sa ugali nya (and he was very upfront about this flaws), pero alam kong napakaminor nila kumpara sa mga bagay na gustong-gusto ko sa kanya.

What we prepared was not a fairytale wedding. Pareho kaming practical na tao. Sa isang small church sa province namin gagawin ang wedding para di masyadong maraming tao. We agreed na dapat intimate but beautiful ang aming kasal.

On the night of our wedding, he asked me if I really love him, no matter what. Kinabahan na ako. I told his "Of course, I do. That's why I am marrying you..." Then he said may sasabihin syang mahalang bagay and he hopes di magbago ang pagtingin ko sa kanya. Parang huminto ang mundo ko sa oras na iyo. Bumagal ang oras habang hinihintay ko kung ano ang ipagtatapat nya.

Yohan confessed that he is impotent and the chances of us having kids in the future is almost zero. That's the reason why his first wife left him. (Wait, you had a first wife?) Alam nya kung gaano kahalaga sa aking magkaanak kaya matagal na nyang gustong ipagtapat ang kahinaan nyang ito bilang lalaki.

I was terrified and angry. Pakiramdam ko nagsinungaling sya sa akin. I told him to get away and called off the wedding. Nasaktan ko sya. He felt rejected the same way as his first wife left him.

After that day, Yohan left the country. Ang balita ko nasa New Zealand sya now kasama ng relatives nya. Nagsisisi ako sa biglaang desisyon ko. I tried to connect with him but he turns down my attempts to talk to him.

Di ako makapag-move on dahil mahal ko sya. Ngayon ko lang natanggap na kahit na di kami magkakaanak ay gusto ko syang makasama habang-buhay. But I guess it's too late...

---Sheena ‪#‎MoveOn101‬